i'm not here..this isn't happening

haha okay i found this on the net and found it pretty appropriate..

i feel so spread thin..like a ghost stretched too far for his own good. it's time for change..and time for me to find myself once again..find the daryl chew that's really daryl chew.

i think..i think it's not so bad, now that there's some closure.at least i know what happened, and what's going to happen. my life isnt standing still anymore.

i think..i think some good can come out of it afterall. it's like a balance..or something like that..

i just want to wish you all the best..i'm sure you'll do great!..and yes i mean it=)

i'll do great soon enough don't worry so much, or feel bad or what ok?;)

i think..i think..

i think i need to disappear

Radiohead - How To Disappear Completely

thin necked wine bottles and wide cognac glasses

okay this is so weird cause i'm writing my posts in like reverse manner..or something like that.ha.

last sat was one of those outings with ~Da GaNG~..haha..one of those times when most of us managed to make it and have fun and laugh about stuff and plan about our future and ya..stuffs.mostly was just catching up with each other after so long..talking about our experiences and gossiping and bitching about others!haha.

well it was overall great cause i didnt have anything else to do anyway also.haha.

these are just some of the pics we took.memories encapsulated in pixels=)






and now for a song! - ideas and thoughts immortalised in matrix codings.haha.

Coldplay - In My Place

paranoid android

speaking of paranoid android..here's the song by radiohead.haha.

i guess sometimes we just have to take things as they come.don't you think? if they'll come they'll come..if they don't then don't cry cause there's nothing you can do about it.or can you?

Radiohead - Paranoid Android

can you blame me?

i awoke this morning with an extreme sense of emptiness..one i've not felt for quite a while now. i just feel so alone even though i have so many friends around..so many people i can talk to and so many people who will listen..but i just feel so cold right now.

i don't know what's going on anymore..i feel so locked out and so separated..detached from the exact same thing that once made me feel so warm..so welcomed.

am i paranoid? you can't blame me for being so..paranoid android daryl chew who doesn't know what's going on anymore..

do you remember?

The Postal Service - Against All Odds


how can I just let you walk away
just let you leave without a trace?
when I stand here taking every breath
with you, oooou
you're the only one
who really knew me at all

how can you just walk away from me
when all I can do is watch you leave?
cause we shared the laughter and the pain
and even shared the tears
you're the only one
who really knew me at all

so take a look at me now
there's just an empty space
there's nothing left here to remind me
just the memory of your face
take a look at me now
there's just an empty space
you comming back to me is against the odds
and thats what I've got to face

I wish I could just make you turn around
turn around and see me cry
there's so much I need to say to you
so many reasons why
you're the only one
who really knew me at all

so take a look at me now
there's just an empty space
there's nothing left here to remind me
just the memory of your face
take a look at me now
there's just an empty space
but to wait for you is all I can do
and that's what I've got to face
take a look at me now
I'll just be standing here
you coming back to me is against the odds
and thats a chance I've got to face

take a look at me now

and once again..

ok i know this is brutally stupid of me to do it but i just feel like saying - i miss you quite badly.

take what you need and be on your way

sometimes i just wished i had a bigger and more important part to play in making the world a better place..it's like my hobby.haha.its like..as though it's my personal crusade to fix things..to help people..to fix people actually.

i don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing! but yea recently i've been losing confidence with myself..i don't really believe in myself anymore cause i've been feeling so useless.is it even worth it to try sometimes? i just hope it turns out for the better.

please just give me something to fix...

or fix me.

Death Cab For Cutie - Crooked Teeth



It was one hundred degrees,
As we sat beneath a willow tree,
Whose tears didn't care, they just hung in the air,
And refused to fall, to fall.

And I knew I'd made a horrible call,
And now the state line felt like the Berlin wall,
And there was no doubt about which side I was on,
mmhmm

Cause I built you a home in my heart,
With rotten wood, and it decayed from the start.

Cause you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
No you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.

I braved treacherous streets,
And kids strung out on homemade speed.
And we shared a bed in which I could not sleep,
At all, woo, hoo, woo, hooOoOo.

Cause at night the sun in retreat
Made the skyline look like crooked teeth,
In the mouth of a man who was devouring, us both.

You're so cute when you're slurring your speech,
But they're closing the bar and they want us to leave.

And you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
No you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.

I'm a war, of head versus heart,
And it's always this way.
My head is weak, my heart always speaks,
Before I know what it will say.

And you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
No, you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
(No you can't find) And you can't find nothing at all,
If there was nothing there all along.
There were churches, theme parks and malls,
But there was nothing there all along.


and this is to you who's feeling sad or emo or whatever.i hope you feel better.really:)

Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out



Hold up... hold on... don't be scared
You'll never change what's been and gone
May your smile... Shine on... Don't be scared
Your destiny may keep you warm.

Cos all of the stars are fading away
Just try not to worry you'll see them some day
Take what you need and be on your way
And stop crying your heart out

Get up... Come on... why you scared
You'll never change what been and gone

i've got a plan..a plan to lose it all

Only the losers win
they've got nothing to prove
They'll leave the world with nothing to lose
You can laugh at the weirdos now
Wait till wrongs are right
They'll be the ones with nothing to hide

'Cause I've been thinking, thinking
I've got a plan to lose it all
I've got a contract pending on eternity
If I haven't already given it away
I've got a plan to lose it all

I've been the burnout kid
I've been the idiot
I'll turn the other cheek to be hit
You can take what you want from me
Empty me till I'm depleted
I'll be around if I'm ever needed

I wrote this song for you
To show how I'm selling out
I'll take the benefit of a doubt

i've never thought about it this way before..that only the losers win cause they've got nothing to lose..nothing to prove..

it's quite a unique song you have to admit.ha.

i just want you to know who i am

Goo Goo Dolls - Iris


And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

me and my time machine

hello there oh man this last few days have been rather tiring and tough maaan.haha.slept like 3 hours plus last night only and the days just goes on and never waits for you.nothing waits for you here...just like how time never waits for you.haha.

i wish i had a time machine..make time wait for me..control fate and destiny.haha.

yesterday, one year ago, i was running the track nationals finals..1500m and 4x400m with my greatest and closest friends supporting me and cheering me on.haha.that was exactly one year ago and i was still a civilian with a proper civilian life and yea..just not in army.haha.

today..i just wish that i could go back exactly one month back in time..to that special day..that day which will stay in my mind for quite a while.hee=)

Oasis - Don't Go Away

for your ears only=)

been really busy this weekend! no time to write! have to book in damn early!haha.

this is for your ears only=)haha.

The Beatles - I Want To Hold Your Hand

bookout bookout bookout

wow it's wed already!haha i thought it was tue only till i saw the date.haha.yaay bookout on fri night again.ha.so happy man.this two weeks have been so easy it's quite hard to believe.i think its cos the next two weeks are gonna be damn tough.haha.oh well might as well enjoy today ya.ha.

oh man i was looking at the track national's results just now and i cant help feeling it's sooooo unfair! if i had participated in this year's 800m race, i would have been guranteed a medal. seriousssllyy. sheesh.my timing i did last year would have got me a second place in the heats.sheesh..with this kinda motivation..i'm sure i would be able to go that 0.1 sec faster to get that gold medal.i mean jj would have no prob getting first...and heck bren could get third and cj would have a straight 1-2-3 finish.whyyyyyy?haha.i know it's all about pride but yea..dang the dragon year..so bloody competitive for what.haha.

Incubus - Drive

run again?

had IPPT today..it's like NAPFA without sit and reach so yea it's quite alright..got gold..of course.hee hee. then after that had army half marathon training!..and that was the killer maaaann..2x5km.sheesh.i wanted to fall out so many times.but yea i didnt..so proud of myself=)

there's this song that keeps playing in my head...hey esther you havent heard it ya so this's for you to sample..hope you like it!=)

Plain White T's - Hey There Delilah

so freeeee!=)

oh man today's such a free day again..it's like the deep calmness before a storm..before i get killed outfield next week and the week after and so on till the end.haha.i have to treasure these times now of relatively free freedom man.

i cant think of any nice song to put up now cause i dont have my ipod with me..but yea these songs are on the radio now and they're quite nice.

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus - Face Down


The Bravery - An Honest Mistake

where's that rainbow again?

hello there! i'm trying to remember when was the last time i saw a rainbow and i cant recall when it is. i hope i find my rainbow soon and when i do,remind me to look for what's at the end of that rainbow.hee.i think you think i'm taking drugs and typing this..i think i am too..but yea.haha.

Isreal Kamakawiwo'ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World


yesterday i had this mega japanese buffet at some hotel in havelock road..it was awesome man..the salmon sashimi just order like nobody's business one man.ha.i had 26 slices altogether!=)))haha. only problem was that i had a very bad cold..and yea i couldnt even taste anything..i thought i could until i put a slab of wasabi on my tongue and couldnt feel anything!haha.man can you imagine how tasteless my tongue was that night.

immediately after that buffet i rushed down to chomp chomp to meet tim gan, jessica and dai jing for jessica's birthday.as usual..i was the first even though i came from somewhere other than home.haha.the irony of it all huh.oh well came home and slept after that.

today i was supposed to meet esther but alas..that poor girl fell sick!take care ya!=) well now i'm just at home doing nothing and trying to kill time..i just woke up from a nice two hour plus nap after lunch and now i'm just here doing this and that on the com..i would like to go for a run..another looonong run but looking at the sky i'm quite certain i should not step out of the house.haha.

omg i sill havent watched transformers! please dont laugh.i'll watch it soon..next week or what..yes next week i swear.haha.better not close maaaann.haha.

i think..i think i have this skill.to laugh even though i'm not happy..to smile even if i'm sad..and to joke even if i'm angry..its a very good skill to have i tell you ..should learn some day.haha.although if you get very proficient at doing it(like i think i do) you tend to forget what you really feel.you forget or become not sure what exactly it is you are feeling..are you happy just because you want people to think you are happy or are you really really happy.you tend to get confused most of the time..i dont know if you will..but i sure do all the time.

i should stop thinking so much.don't panic.just live.life will catch up with you no matter how fast and far you run.i have to stop running and start living.

Garden State/Coldplay - Don't Panic


hey so now's the part where i play DJ and give you a whole list of noce songs to listen to!haha.if you have anything to say about the music please leave me a comment so that i can make improvements ya?=)haha.enjoy!!!

Radiohead - I Might Be Wrong


Muse - Escape


Dishwalla - Angels Or Devils


Stars - Your Ex-Lover Is Dead


Oasis - Wonderwall


Today is gonna be the day
That they're gonna throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you gotta do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now

Backbeat the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out
I'm sure you've heard it all before
But you never really had a doubt
I don't believe that anybody feels
The way I do about you now

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would
Like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

Today was gonna be the day?
But they'll never throw it back to you
By now you should've somehow
Realized what you're not to do
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do
About you now

And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after all
You're my wonderwall

I said maybe
You're gonna be the one who saves me ?
And after an
You're my wonderwall

Said maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me
You're gonna be the one that saves me


Lifehouse - You And Me


what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up
and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

all of the things that I want to say
just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping inwards
you got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

cause it's you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

there's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
everything she does is beautiful
everything she does is right

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to lose
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

you and me and all of the people
with nothing to do
nothing to prove
and it's you and me and all of the people
and I don't know why
I can't keep my eyes off of you

what day is it
and in what month
this clock never seemed so alive

Bright Eyes - First Day Of My Life


This is the first day of my life
Swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain
Suddenly everything changed
They're spreadin' blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
Think I was blind before I met you
I don't know where I am
I don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go
So I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realized that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

I remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange
You said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said,
This is the first day of my life,
Glad I didn't die before I met you
But now I don't care I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy.

So if you wanna be with me
With these things there's no telling
We'll just have to wait and see
But I'd rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery

Besides maybe this time it's different
I mean I really think you'll like me...

i hope this song will guide you home

The Postal Service - Such Great Heights


I am thinking it's a sign that the freckles
In our eyes are mirror images and when
We kiss they're perfectly aligned
And I have to speculate that God himself
Did make us into corresponding shapes like
Puzzle pieces from the clay
True, it may seem like a stretch, but
Its thoughts like this that catch my troubled
Head when you're away when I am missing you to death
When you are out there on the road for
Several weeks of shows and when you scan
The radio, I hope this song will guide you home

They will see us waving from such great
Heights, 'come down now,' they'll say
But everything looks perfect from far away,
'come down now,' but we'll stay...

I tried my best to leave this all on your
Machine but the persistent beat it sounded
Thin upon listening
That frankly will not fly. you will hear
The shrillest highs and lowest lows with
The windows down when this is guiding you home

lalalalalala=)

since entering dA aRmY..i seem to have forgotten alot of things about myself..i'm so different now! so..armified..soo many things that i used to enjoy..all forgotten..like the songs i listen to.haha..music's really my life man..

thanks esther for reminding me how much i love this song!=)

Death Cab for Cutie - I'll Follow You Into The Dark


i was listening to this song too this morn..oh man..i was gonna sing it for social night in sierra if if IF i had got into the finals.haha.but yea i didnt..not that i was particularly keen on singing on stage anyway..haha but yea..here it is!

Train - Drops of Jupiter


Now that she's back in the atmosphere
With drops of jupiter in her hair, hey hey
She acts like summer and walks like rain
Reminds me that there's time to change, hey hey
Since the return of her stay on the moon
She listens like spring and talks like June, hey hey

But tell me did you sail across the sun
Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights all faded
And that heaven is over rated
Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star
One without a permanent scar
And then you miss me while you were lookin' for yourself out there

Now that she's back from that soul vacation
Tracing her way through the constellation, hey hey
She checks out Mozart while she does tae-bo
Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey hey

Now that she's back in the atmosphere
I'm afraid that she might think of me as plain ol' Jane
Told a story 'bout a man who was too afraid to fly so he never did land

But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet
Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
And head back to the Milky Way
And tell me, did Venus blow your mind
Was it everything you wanted to find
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there

Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken
Your best friend always sticking up for you
even when i know your wrong
Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance, five-hour phone conversation
The best soy latte that you ever had... and me

But tell me did
you sail accross the sun
Did you make it to the Milky way
to see the lights all faded
and that heaven is over rated
Tell me did you fall for a shooting star
one without a permanent scar
and did you miss me while you were
looking for yourself
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,
na,na
And did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,
na,na
And did you fall for a shooting star
Fall for a shooting star
na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na,na
And are you lonely while looking for yourself out there

i wanna go home

its one of those days..i feel like flying to the moon..in a capsule where time does not move...where time freezes at the right time and the right place to capture the right moment..

a pity time waits for no man..rachel told me once that many ppl overlook the factor of time..it's very true i guess..though i dont really know what it means.haha.i get it..but dont really get it..aiyah..listen music can already dont need to think.haha.

i prefer this version of this song..more..soothing..haha.

Evangelion - Fly Me To The Moon


Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words hold my hand
In other words darling kiss me

Fill my life with song
And let me sing forevermore
You are all I hope for
All I worship and adore
In other words please be true
In other words I love you

oh yea here are a few more songs that i was listening to that day and yea i'll like to share them with you! pls enjoy!=)


The Postal Service - Nothing Better



The Killers - Change Your Mind

i want a cardigan

they played this song on the PA this morning..it has so much meaning to me..it says all the stuffs that i wanna say for me.

music always has this weird effect on me.i dont know why..but yea i like it.ha.

The Cardigans - Lovefool


Dear, I fear we're facing a problem
you love me no longer, I know
and maybe there is nothing
that I can do to make you do
Mama tells me I shouldn't bother
that I ought just stick to another man
a man that surely deserves me
but I think you do!

So I cry, and I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

Lately I have desperately pondered,
spent my nights awake and I wonder
what I could have done in another way
to make you stay
Reason will not pledge a solution
I will end up lost in confusion
I don't care if you really care
as long as you don't go

So I cry, I pray and I beg

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
love me love me
pretend that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me

So I cried, and I begged for you to
Love me love me
say that you love me
leave me leave me
just say that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

(anything but you)

Love me love me
say that you love me
fool me fool me
go on and fool me
Love me love me
I know that you need me
I can't care about anything but you

why didn't it work this time?

had AHM training today..16km..one of those nice long runs..long runs to clear your mind of whatever troubles you have and whatnot.but it didnt work this time.not this time man.sheesh.

i was running on just pure emotions.run run runnning away trying to escape from reality..i didnt even feel tired cause of all that emotions welled up in me. i tried to make myself so tired i would stop thinking..have no more energy to think..maybe i'll feel better.but nope..couldnt..no matter how hard i ran i wasnt tired..the emotions were just so great it was overwhelming.it's amazing actually how powerful welled up emotions can be..it never goes away.i wish things didnt have to end up like this.i can only hope..and pray.

oh yea i came in first today for the first time as a result.haha.

never fear for daryl's here

The Fray - Look After You


If I don't say this now I will surely break
As I'm leaving the one I want to take
Forgive the urgency but hurry up and wait
My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh,
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go
Will you won't you, be the one I'll always know
When I'm losing my control, the city spins around
You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my Baby
I'll look after you
And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt
My love she leans into me
This most assuredly counts
She says most assuredly

Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you
After You
Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh

It's always have and never hold
You've begun to feel like home
What's mine is yours to leave or take
What's mine is yours to make your own

Oh, oh
Be my baby
Ohhhhh
Oh, oh
Be my baby
I'll look after you

You are so beautiful to me (repeat)

i've decided..and i shall stick by it

wow this four days off from ocs almost made me forget that i had to book in today.sheesh.i feel like post A levels days all over again man.haha.

well i've been thinking alot lately..for i dont know what reason..and lately i've been feeling kinda confused and lost..i dont know what to think anymore..yea i woke up damn early this morning and couldnt sleep cause my thoughts was just swirling round and round in my head.its getting on my nerves..so i took my ipod..wore some singlet and went for a run..one of those long runs..those therapeutic runs that just helps you get over what it is you are trying to get over..and it worked!haha.i feel so much better now..though still a little shaky..but yea..my mind is clear..i've sort through my thoughts and there's no turning back anymore..smile!=)

this is for you reading this.

Goo Goo Dolls - Let Love In


You wait, wanting this world
To let you in
And you stand there
A frozen light
In dark and empty streets
You smile hiding behind
A God-given face
But I know you're so much more
Everything they ignore
Is all that I need to see

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

I wish
Wishing for you to find your way
And I'll hold on for all you need
That's all we need to say
I'll take my chances while
You take your time with
This game you play
But I can't control your soul
You need to let me know
You leaving or you gonna stay

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to do without
The only way to feel again
Is let love in

There's nothing we can do about
The things we have to live without
The only way to see again
Is let love in

You're the only one I ever believed in
The answer that could never be found
The moment you decided to let love in
Now I'm banging on the door of an angel
The end of fear is where we begin
The moment we decided to let love in